My Rebuttal to the BBC's "Cooler Email" Advice: Finding the Balance

Understanding the Nuances of Email Communication

My rebuttal to the BBC’s “cooler email” advice is simple: there is a middle ground here—and it’s being missed.

Advice that encourages people to sound “cooler,” more detached, or less warm in email communication is often framed as professional development. But let’s be honest about what’s actually happening beneath the surface.

These recommendations don’t exist in a vacuum. They are:

• Disproportionately aimed at women

• Rooted in masculine-coded authority norms

• Quietly asking people to minimize humanity in digital communication

  
  

And that’s where I have a problem.

The Impact of Cold Communication

We all know what it feels like to read an email that’s cold, clipped, and devoid of human tone. We feel it immediately. It doesn’t create clarity—it creates distance. Yet at the same time, AI is being actively trained to sound more human, more relational, and more socially attuned.

That contradiction matters.

We’re telling humans to sound more robotic—while training robots to sound more human. That’s not progress. That’s hypocrisy.

The Real Issue: Communication Skills

The real issue isn’t warmth. The issue isn’t being human or social. The actual middle ground is this:

👉 How do we communicate without sounding anxious, apologetic, or like we’re over-functioning for others?

That’s a skill worth teaching.

Addressing the Root Causes

Instead of addressing:

• Power dynamics

• Workplace culture

• Unclear expectations

• Gendered communication standards

  
  

We individualize the problem and subtly tell people—especially women—to “fix” themselves by shrinking their tone. This is what concerns me most about sharing advice like this without context.

People skim headlines. They internalize blame. They adjust themselves first—rather than questioning the systems that created the tension in the first place.

The Need for Critical Thinking

We need more critical thinking around the information we consume, not less.

My Call to Action

Communicate like a human. Trust that you can be warm and boundaried. Clear and kind. Direct and relational.

And if someone’s communication style isn’t working for you—or yours isn’t landing for them—how about we do something radical?

📌 Talk about it.

Instead of quietly judging someone’s professionalism based on a 20-second read of a biased take on email language.

Embracing Humanity in the Workplace

We don’t need less humanity at work. We need better skills, clearer expectations, and more honest conversations. That’s the real middle ground.

The Power of Connection

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to forget the importance of connection. When we communicate with warmth, we foster relationships that can lead to collaboration and innovation.

Building a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment where everyone feels valued is essential. This means encouraging open dialogue and understanding that everyone has different communication styles.

Conclusion: Moving Forward Together

Let’s commit to moving forward together. Embrace your authentic voice. Advocate for yourself and others. It’s time to reclaim our humanity in professional communication.

In this journey, remember: you have the power to influence change. Let’s work together to create a culture where everyone can thrive, not just survive.

---wix---